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Everybody wants to be a cowboy. I wanted to be a rodeo clown. Recovered drunk still struggling with mental illness. Normal. FOLLOW ⤵

My name is Jade and I’m a Medium Writer

Photo provided by the author

Hi friends and dear readers. I’ve been writing on Medium since 2019 but more consistently in the past few months, so I felt it was a good time to introduce myself.

I’ve written my whole life. Mostly short non-fiction personal essays but some fiction and poetry here and there. Writing was the only thing that I ever felt I was good at. That and Volleyball. I played volleyball for most of my pre-teen and teenage years until I discovered booze and boys and basically risked it all to party.

Writing made…


THE SCIENCE OF ALCOHOL

Photo by Daniele Levis Pelusi on Unsplash

People often reach out to me about their drinking and their personal relationship with alcohol. I’ve encouraged it. I’m outspoken about my sobriety and my alcoholism and I regularly post about it on my social media. I’ve said that if anyone needs help or is questioning their relationship to alcohol to please reach out. So they do. It normally goes like, “Hi Jade, I haven’t drunk in a couple of days and I’m wondering if you have any tips for me or books I can read about abstaining from drinking?”

I’m an alcoholic. I’m comfortable with that terminology or label…


What we can learn from help, thanks and wow

Photo by Yogendra Singh from Pexels

“Gratitude begins in our hearts and then dovetails into behavior. It almost always makes you willing to be of service, which is where the joy resides. It means that you are willing to stop being such a jerk. When you are aware of all that has been given to you, in your lifetime and the past few days, it is hard not to be humbled, and pleased to give back.”
Anne Lamott, Help Thanks Wow: The Three Essential Prayers

I’ve heard Anne Lamott speak in person on a few occasions and it is always an exceptional experience. She has…


MUSINGS

The dangers of dating in early recovery

There is a suggestion in twelve-step recovery programs in regards to dating. It’s a suggestion simply because there are no directives other than just don’t drink or use. Everything else is advice passed on from one sober person in recovery to the other. Stricly suggestive. Take it or leave it.

In regards to dating, the suggestion (from those that have been around long enough to know better) is to not date in your first year of getting sober.

About six months ago I was on Bumble or Tinder, or one of those apps that I hardly last longer than a…


Why dog people are selfish and inconsiderate

Photo by Dominika Roseclay from Pexels

Before you come for me, I do like dogs in general. I like the idea of dogs. I’m not heartless and I do care for animals. I just don’t like your dog.

Dogs in the US

According to a 2019–2020 pet owners surveyed by the APPA (American Pet Products Association) showed that in 2020, $103.6 billion was spent on pets in the U.S.

This included costs such as vitamins, toys, food, treats, surgical vets, and routine visits.

Out of the millions of pets in US households, dogs ranked the highest at 63.4 …


And how the five love languages question is irrelevant

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If you’re on dating apps like Hinge or Bumble you may have noticed the prompt questions that people choose in regards to their love language. If you’re unfamiliar, dating apps use prompts in order to assist hopefuls with opening up, sharing information, and being matched via the algorithm with possible mates.

A common prompt is, “My Love Language is?” Then you select from the five options.

The Five Love Languages originated in 1992 out of the work and writings of author, Gary Chapman.

Gary Chapman is a Doctor of philosophy and…


And how to accept the hard truths

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

Hopefully, if we are lucky, we have people in our lives that will tell us the things that we don’t want to hear.

The stuff that makes us want to retract into ourselves somehow like a roly-poly bug or a turtle just giving us shell. I want to pop back into my shell when you tell me things like, “you can’t afford that.” Or, “You can’t change them.” Or maybe the worst good advice that I ever heard, “You shouldn’t drink so much.”

For the most part, advice is not pleasant.

Why is…


SOCIETY VS SOBRIETY

What happens to our relationships when we go sober

When I first tried quitting drinking at around age twenty-five my childhood friend exclaimed with such utter sadness, “Does this mean no more cocktails in the bathtub!?”

We then proceeded to vacation in Mexico together with a group of other friends and “we” all drank cocktails (for me Redbull or some form of seltzer water) while in the tub. What can I say? It’s tradition.

We do what makes our people feel comfortable around us while choosing not to drink. …


Image Creative Commons by Stephen Lavoie

Britney Spears Las Vegas residency at The Axis at Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino was a massive success. It grossed around $140 million dollars and sold 900,000 tickets with a mind-boggling 250 shows. She’s considered one of the top performers in the world next to Cher, Garth Brooks, and Elton John to name a few.

Britney is my age. She’s one year older than I am. I grew up with her. I would skip class in high school to binge MTV and I remember vividly watching the debut of Baby One More Time. …


What you can gain from a chart reading

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

Bear with me. I am going to make the case for astrological chart readings over therapy (in some instances) but first, let’s discuss traditional therapy.

I’ve been looking for a therapist for around two years now. I subscribe to the belief that therapy is for everyone regardless of whether or not they have an immediate issue.

Therapy is not meant to only fix what is broken. It’s preventative medicine.

I’m also sober. I’ve been clean and sober for four years in December and as a part of my recovery, I’m deeply involved…

Jade Porter

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